††††Two weekends ago, I was dead set on having a productive weekend, I was finally† going to buckle down and put my nose to the grindstone and put in some hours on the poker table, and finish up the long painful process of finishing my taxes.† But then I was bombarded by text messages by my two new loves who have surpassed even poker, Antonio and Amalie.† They promised me that if I came to the IVY Hotel, a five star hotel complete with a nightclub where every one of your hedonistic fantasies can be indulged, I would remember it for the rest of my life.† SO what could I do?† I called my assistant and had her book me a ticket and hopped on a one-way flight.†

††† Upon landing I planned on meeting up with Tony Licari, Antonioís number one friend.† Antonio hangs out with so many fascinating people that I knew his number one friend which Tony, would be an unforgettable character.† Immediately after meeting him, he punished his travel companion Alex in a $100 bet on whether some uniformed security guards were actually cops.† He told Alex that the patches on their sleeve said ìharbor policeî but Alex refused to believe him and put his money where his mouth was.† Alex then chased after them and asked them if they were police to which they responded that indeed they were.† I was happy to have found a prop betting fish for the weekend.† Holla!

††† Upon arrival at the IVY, I scrambled to my room to complete a blog post, otherwise I would be punished $150; $100 to Alec who I have a weekly blog bet with, and $50 to you my blog readers.† But on my way to my room I passed many gorgeous women, and my resolve slowly faded.† While in the shower,† I decided ìfuck it, I am going to take my punishment and go party my ass off.î† So I headed up to Antonioís baller suite and proceeded to do shots with my childhood hero, Jonathon ëFatalityí Wendel, Tony, Alex, Amalie, Jonathonís ex-publicist Courtney and an array of Antonioís top 25 friends.

††† Somehow, in the midst of drinking profusely, stories of anal sex escapades came up.† After one of the stories I commented, ìWow that sounds likes a Tucker Max story (famous blogger and author of ëI hope they serve beer in Hell).î

To which Courtney snapped, ìWhat about Tucker?î

Apparently Courtney had recently broken up with Tucker Max (who blogs about hilarious, and what some would say are very disgusting things) usually while he is close to black out drunk.† This made the situation hilariously awkward and I wandered off to the bathroom laughing.†† I made a mental note to call my best friend from high school, Alex Vaszily to tell him about this hilarious situation as we were both avid fans of both Tucker Max and ëFatalityí back in the day.

††† After we all had a few drinks, or a few dozen, we headed to the rooftop bar to start partying.† Now this was not just any rooftop bar, it featured a spectacular bar, a gorgeous swimming pool, tables, bungalows, and to top it all off it was packed to the brim full of gorgeous scantily clad women.† Yet it did not have the feel of a pretentious club as everyone was gathered near the bar shooting shots and mingling.† It was so pure.

††† Some of Antonioís friends are quite the masters of seduction, but as for myself I just bust out my goofy white boy dance moves and the women come flocking?†

††† The second night, we again headed to the rooftop bar, this time accompanied by the legend himself, Alec Torelli. Upon his recent trip to New Zealand he met and bonded with a lovely intelligent Swedish girl during a 4 hour long bus ride of which he exchanged emails thinking he would never see her again.† But over the modern internet wonders such as skype and aim, Alec was suprisingly able to charm her into flying into California to stay with him in his giant California king bed.†

††† Anyway, seeing how sexy Lina and Alec looked I decided to find a gal for myself.† Amalie who is amazing at picking up girls became my wing woman.† We eventually found some girls and decided we wanted to get them drunk as fast as possible.† To accomplish this task we ordered countless blowjob and gummi bear shots to get all the females drunk.† My new female companion, Mr. Torelli , Lina, 12 time video game world champion Jonathon Wendel (newly nicknamed ëgameboyí) then headed to the dance floor to let loose.†

††† I was on my ëAí game and classily performed the shopping cart, the sprinkler, not to mention countless disco moves before I decided to party boy my female companion. Gameboy would not be outdone, to which he responded with moves he had honed with hundreds of hours from dance dance revolution.† Eventually ìJump Aroundî by House of Pain blared over the speaker system and the 6 of us started jumping around while flailing our hands in the air in pure ecstasy.† The other 40 people on the dance floor didnít know what to make of this and eventually all stopped dancing and just stared in amused bewilderment.† I tried to grab some scallies to join in the dancing, but they were to intimidated by my sweet moves to join in.†† The bar soon closed and 20 of us drunkenly headed back to Antonioís room to continue the party.† However I was not done dancing and decided to serve gameboyÖ if you can just imagine.

††† Although, around a year ago I did take beginner ballet classes with one of my best friends in an effort to learn how to dance.† The class was full of 10 year old girls who all adored us.† At the end of one class one of the girls came up to me and told me you have ëWBRSí.† I innocently asked her what does ëWBRSí stood for to which she responded ëwhite boy rhythm syndromeí which was accompanied by a chorus of 10 year old girly giggles.† Letís just say ballet class was a humbling experience that showed no improvement in my dancing abilities.† I have since given up and embraced my goofy white boy dance moves.

I planned on leaving the next day but Antonio convinced me to stay another night.† So I lounged about reading, playing chess with Brian Rast, and watching Fatality own some noobs in Quake 3.† In the evening Rast, Antonio, Amalie and myself were all joined by Danny, owner of Platinum Collections making him the youngest CEO of a publicly traded company (Whoís your Daddy energy drink) and a gorgeous hostess from the Ivy, who all went to dinner at Nobu.† We enjoyed some fine Sake, played Lodden Thinks and definitely enjoyed each otherís company.† Afterwards, Danny gave us a private tour of his store, (which is truly unbelievable if you are looking for high end merchandise in San Diego be sure to stop by).†† I asked him countless questions about his business career as I find successful self-made people to be both interesting and inspiring.† Despite all of his success Danny remains a very humble and down to earth individual, and passionately answered all of my questions.† It seems that anyone who truly excels in their profession is always passionate about it.†

This has probably been one of my more boring blogs recently, but Iím currently in Hawaii Kauai, with a gorgeous woman and I am departing on a two day hiking/camping trip tomorrow and simply canít put anymore time into this blog.† Its 22 miles up a mountain round-trip (called the Kalolou Trail) and I think my female companion is 50/50 on whether she will survive. Weíll see!