Over the past four days Iíve had the biggest poker downswing of my career, losing over $300,000 while playing in big live games.† Normally, a loss of this magnitude would send me into a tailspin and cause a week of depression.† After a day of wallowing in my own self-pity, I woke up and drank a beer for breakfast and snapped out of my funk.
The loss was mainly due to running bad.† I was playing in games where I was certainly a favorite.† The bulk of the time the game was shorthanded which is one of my strengths as a poker player.† The game was a 200/400NL game with a $600 ante on the button, with many pots being straddled and a minimum buy-in of $100,000.† This game plays bigger than any game played online, including the 500/1000NL games.† Although my loss was big, it is not unexpected for a winning player in a game of this size.
I believe my hourly rate in these big live games is significantly higher than multitabling high-stakes NL games online but the variance is significantly higher.† Iím not sure if the higher hourly rate is worth the devastating psychological impact that a big loss can cause.† Plus, after playing $200,000 pots it is hard to go back to grinding 10/20NL where a big pot is $4,000.
In a vacuum, playing smaller would make me a happier person, since my bankroll would grow steadily and Iíd feel like I was making a small amount of progress everyday.† The problem is that I no longer feel ëin the zoneí when I play small NL games as I have in the past.† I need the tough competition and huge pots found at high stakes to stay completely in the moment.† With that said, I probably wonít be playing above 100/200NL for a while becauseÖwell Iím not rich enough anymore J.
In order to keep on learning and push myself, Iím going to start playing other forms of poker to stimulate my mind.† Hopefully, Iíll start blogging every day.† I find that writing my thoughts can be therapeutic and relaxing.
November 19th, 2008 at 5:24 am
Keep your head up dude. They say placing your thoughts into writing is one of the most therapeutic ways of alleviating anxiety and helps with those mental ruts we all go through.
Thing of one bright side, you could have had that money invested in Las Vegas Sands Corp and lost it that way.
November 19th, 2008 at 7:24 am
dude, i know you are a great player but no matter how good you are you have to take into consideration the variance, don’t play busto poker, it will never work, don’t get caught up in the money but respect your bankroll, focus on your curve (the curve in the graphs showing progressively going up over time), play profitable games, you are one of the best players on the planet, dont let yourself stand in your own way, if the excitment is gone then get another hobby and take a break but dont just go into a higher limit b/c its a slippery slope, you have friends/family that care for you very much and their love and support is not based on what stakes you play
November 19th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I respect your honesty Andrew…I know that you get a lot of advice. I would suggest, if you have not done so already, that you consider starting a small business with some of your poker proceeds.
It would take your mind off the game when you need to plus it would be something to fall back on if your luck runs south.
November 19th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
hey man this is one of the only blogs I read, it would be really cool if you posted more frequently
some hh analysis or poker theory or anything would be sweet
glgl hope you go on a nice heater soon
November 20th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
A lot of players recently have been on huge downswings. I just read Matt Hawrilenko’s blog and hes down over 1.1 million to Phil Ivey these past 4 days. Its his largest downswing ever but all pros have to go through this. Its just how you deal with this that makes you a better player. Keep Blogging, i like to keep up with your poker life. Just a couple of questions though, so whats your game going to be now? or you done with tournaments? are you going to play more live or more online now? if online what stakes are you going to be playing at? 10-20 or 25-50 or 100-200? I dont see you on full tilt anymore =[
November 20th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Also where were you playing 200-400 at? was it with big named pros?
December 6th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Andrew,
Fans stop by your website regular to view your blog…so do us a favour and update your blog more often ffs …